NORFOLK, Va. (WAVY) — Through A Warm Embrace, a sisterhood of mothers have come together to heal, and last Friday, the group held a roundtable discussion at Norfolk Botanical Garden for “mothers of victims of gun violence.”

In May 2010, Roycinda Alexander was navigating the loss of her son, Darren Gray, who was beaten and shot to death at a birthday party in Norfolk the day before Mother’s Day.

“We’re taught to nurture, not to lose a child,” Alexander said. “Gun violence has ruined our families’ lives, and if we don’t address it, we’re never going to get anywhere.”

She felt lost and lonely after the murder of her son, and needed support.

“Because when I lost my son, I died with my son,” she said. “I was another person looking for healing, looking for relief. Looking for some type of love.”

She found it when she reached out to Norfolk city councilman John ‘J.P.’ Paige, a community advocate at the time. He helped organize the group’s first roundtable event in December 2023 at the Basilica of St. Mary Catholic Church in Norfolk.

“It is my prayer that things like this open up the space for healing,” Paige told 10 On Your Side in 2023. “We have to consider the things that we’re dealing with in our society today and the impact that they have on us.”

That first roundtable came just six months after Monique Smith was initiated into the sorority that no mother chooses to join.

“My oldest daughter called me and said I need you to sit down,” Smith said.

Her daughter then handed the phone over to a detective with the Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department. He told her that her daughter, Dyamond, was involved in a homicide.

“First thing off my mind, because I told you she’s hot-headed, was what did she do,” Smith said. “He said no, she didn’t do anything, she’s the one that’s deceased.”

Smith said she collapsed after hearing her 24-year-old daughter was the victim, sending her spiraling for the next few months, until a friend who also lost a child to gun violence gave her a flier for A Warm Embrace.

“I was hesitant at first, but she kept telling me it’s a safe place, and that all the mothers lost someone,” Smith said. “So I decided to go, and it was the best decision that I could have made.”

The video below is from WAVY’s coverage of this case from May 2024.

Smith said the group embraced her with understanding, and she felt comforted knowing that all the other mothers knew exactly what she was going through.

“Not really say that I’m a victim, but I’m a survivor,” Smith said.

“Everyone has their own path — mine’s getting it off my chest,” Smith said. “It makes me feel better than to hold it in; some people don’t want to or can’t talk about it.”

And sometimes a warm embrace means not saying a word.

“Just being there for someone,” said Tracey Moore, whose son Darren Bellardo was killed in Chesapeake in 2022. “Even if it’s just to sit beside you, hold your hand, or not hold your hand.”

Moore said she met Roycinda Alexander in Richmond at an event for Moms Demand Action, but struggled to have the strength to join A Warm Embrace — until last Friday.

“This year I’m just like, you can do this,” Moore said. “It’s not something that’s easy to talk about.”

Moore said Darren “had a bright smile” and loved basketball. He played at the University of Virginia’s College at Wise, before suffering a career-ending injury.

“I always want to present my son as the whole picture,” Moore said. “People make mistakes, and I just want people to know who Darren really was.”

Moore said acceptance is a daily challenge, but being surrounded by women with shared experiences gives her the courage to share. And for the moms who are still seeking the courage to share, she has a message.

“It’s more than OK for you to feel the way that you’re feeling, but just know that there are people that are here for you,” Moore said. “You can never truly understand what someone is going through, but I’ve been in your shoes and I can try to understand.”